so, to give you some background on why today was the continuing story of my life, here is some of my medical history (warning: this may gross you out).


when i was in middle school, i had these large scabs that kept appearing on my legs for no reason.  i went to the doctor to ask about it, she gave me some big medical name, and basically told me it was the name for stuff they dont know why it happens or what it is.  luckily, after few months the scabs stopped.

when i was in 9th grade, i had what i called my "coughing disease".  basically every day for a couple months, i would get these horrible coughing fits that would last for several minutes.  i would always have to leave class with tears streaming down my face because the cough was so violent.  sometimes it would be so bad that i would throw up from the coughing.  despite chest x-rays, blood tests and medicine that never worked, they never figured out the problem.  so the doctors gave up.  after 3 or 4 months, that problem went away, too.

my senior year of high school, i had what i called my "throwing up disease".  basically, for this disease i would get a sour feeling in my stomach randomly.  when i felt this, every time i knew that it would result in a couple days of missed school due to constant throwing up.  i wouldn't be able to keep any food down no matter how hard i tried.  my doctor did numerous tests, tried different medications, a sonogram to check for gallbladder stones, and more bloodwork, but again she could never figure out what was up.  again the doctors gave up.  again it went away, this time after about 6 months.



now it is 2008 and the saga continues.  for the past couple of months, i have been having stomach problems... stabbing pains in my stomach, difficulty swallowing, a constant full feeling, prickly feelings, chest pain and burning.

after trying medicine, getting a sonogram and a GI tract scope with multiple stomach biopsies, they know that my stomach lining is eroding, but they dont know why... all the possibilities for reasons they checked have come up short.  a quote (translated from german) from my diagnosis "causation of atypical local erosion is unclear"


thank you, medicine, thank you so much.  why would i have even expected you to be able to figure out my illness?

my only hope is that this, too, shall pass.

today i was reading a 5 month old issue of time magazine that we got last week in a care package from the US.  the topic of the issue was "america by the numbers", and it gave a statistical report on americans, asking questions like "how much do we sleep", and "how do we live" and "what do we do for fun"

one question that i read was "which workers are the happiest?".  as soon as i read it my mind was like "ministry!!!!"... because i love what i get to do.  as soon as i had that thought, though, i shut it down, thinking about all the stress that comes in ministry, especially for someone in the position of a pastor.

however, as i turned the page, i saw the chart that laid out the answer to the question... and i was surprised to find out that the statistics agree with me!  people in ministry were far above the next most satisfied job group.  for some reason, it made me really really happy to read that.



this has been a very hard week.  i haven't had an off day since march 3 and nearly every day since two fridays ago has been 12 or more hours of work.  i dont have a break until thursday, after which i have 3 lighter days until our next spring break comes for another week of craziness.

however, in the midst of this hard hard hard time, i absolutely love what i do.  i love my team, especially those in berlin, but also the CfC workers in all of germany.  i love seeing God work in people's lives [as he is doing in a big way this week].  even though the 'fruit' of our pioneering year here in berlin is small, i know that the need here is great... and the opportunity to bring jesus to those who dont know him is enough to make me happy.

its funny because even this week i was talking to students [and i hear this all the time] who are 'afraid' that God will call them to be a missionary.  i could only smile, knowing how much i love what i do, and Who i do it with.